Growing Strong: How to Build Healthy Relationships as You Change
Peer reviewed by Dr. Peter Rawlek, MD & Scott Rollo, PhD
Growing up comes with lots of changes - in your body, your feelings, and how you connect with others. You might notice wanting more independence, spending more time with friends, or wondering about who you really are. These changes affect how you build and keep healthy relationships—not just with others, but also with yourself.
What Is a Healthy Relationship?
A healthy relationship, whether it’s with a friend, family member, teammate, or even yourself is built on important qualities like respect, communication, and trust.
Here’s what that looks like:
Imagine you and a friend are working on a school project together.
Respect: You listen when your friend shares ideas, even if you don’t agree at first, and you don’t interrupt or make fun of their suggestions. You also respect their time and effort by showing up ready.
Communication: You tell your friend honestly if you’re confused or need help, and you listen carefully when they explain their part. Instead of just waiting to speak, you try to understand what they’re saying.
Trust: You trust that your friend will do their part of the project and keep any plans you make together. Because of this, you feel comfortable asking for help if you’re stuck, knowing they won’t judge you.
When you both respect each other’s ideas, communicate openly, and trust one another, working on the project becomes easier and even fun. This example shows how healthy relationships help people work together, feel supported, and build stronger connections.
What Changes Happen During Adolescence?
Adolescence is a time when lots of things shift, such as:
Physical changes: Growing taller, voice changes, and other body changes might make you feel awkward sometimes.
Brain development: Your brain is still learning how to make good decisions and control emotions, so feelings can be intense or confusing.
Hormones: These can affect your mood, energy, and even sleep.
Social changes: Friends become more important, and you might feel pressure to fit in.
Discovering who you are: You may start asking yourself, “What do I like? What do I believe in?”
All these changes are normal and help shape the person you’re becoming.
How These Changes Affect Your Relationships
As you grow, you might notice:
More understanding: You get better at seeing how others feel, which helps with supporting friends or solving disagreements.
Wanting independence: You may want more privacy or time with friends, which can change your family relationships.
Stronger peer influence: Friends can encourage good habits, but sometimes they pressure you to do things you’re not sure about.
Changing friendships: As you explore your interests, you might drift away from some friends and find new ones who share your passions.
How to Build Healthy Relationships While Growing Up
Try these tips to keep your relationships strong:
Be honest: Share your feelings and listen without judging.
Set boundaries: It’s okay to say “no” or ask for space when you need it.
Pick good friends: Spend time with people who respect you and support your goals.
Manage your feelings: Use deep breaths, writing, or talking to calm down when upset.
Respect differences: Everyone grows at their own speed, and that’s perfectly fine.
Time to Think
How have you changed in the last year—body, feelings, or friendships?
How have these changes affected your relationships with family or friends?
What’s one thing you could do to communicate better or build trust with someone important to you?
The Big Idea
Adolescence is a time of growing—not just physically, but in your friendships and how you see yourself. By understanding these changes and practicing respect, trust, and honest communication, you can build strong, healthy relationships that help you feel good now and as you grow into the future.