Failing Forward: Why Setbacks Help You Succeed
Peer reviewed by Dr. Peter Rawlek, MD & Scott Rollo, PhD
Have you ever set a goal, felt super motivated, and then… it didn’t go the way you planned? Maybe you skipped a few workouts, didn’t study as much as you said you would, or lost focus halfway through a project. If that’s happened to you, guess what? You’re not alone—and more importantly, you haven’t failed.
What if we told you that what you call a failure is actually just a step forward?
Why Failure Isn’t the End
There’s a quote that says,
“Success is not a given, it is only discovered—through trying and trying again.”
Success isn’t about getting everything right on your first try. It’s about what you do after things don’t go your way. Failure gives you clues. It teaches you what didn’t work so you can adjust and grow stronger.
Think of it like learning a new video game. Do you beat the hardest level on day one? Probably not. But every time you try again, you get better. That’s how real-life goals work too.
Kara’s Real-Life Struggle
Let’s talk about Kara. She started a new workout routine with big goals—daily training, more energy, feeling confident. At first, she was all in. But then school got busy, she felt tired, and slowly her routine faded. She started skipping workouts, and that made her feel guilty and frustrated.
Sound familiar?
But Kara didn’t give up. Instead, she took a step back and asked, “What’s realistic for me right now?” Some days, she only had 10 minutes. Other days, she needed rest. And that was okay. She adjusted her expectations and kept moving forward. Even small steps added up.
Be Kind to Yourself
We often speak more kindly to our friends than we do to ourselves. Imagine a friend told you they missed two days of their new fitness plan. Would you say, “Wow, you’re a failure”? Of course not! You’d probably say, “That’s okay—just get back to it when you can!”
Start talking to yourself like that. That’s called self-compassion, and it’s not just nice—it’s necessary. Growth doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from progress.
Learn and Reset
If your goals feel out of reach, it might be time to tweak them. Life changes. Schedules shift. That doesn’t mean you’re off track—it means you’re paying attention and learning. Setbacks are part of the journey.
Try this:
Adjust your goal to something smaller or more flexible.
Celebrate tiny wins—even showing up counts.
Set a “start again” date and approach it with fresh energy.
Inspiration: Terry Fox
Need proof that setbacks don’t mean failure? Look at Canadian hero Terry Fox. He lost a leg to cancer and still set out to run across Canada. Even though he didn’t finish the full distance, he inspired millions. His journey wasn’t about perfection—it was about determination.
Your Turn to Reflect:
Have you ever felt like you failed? What did you learn from it?
What’s a goal you can adjust and keep working toward?
How can you show more kindness to yourself when things don’t go perfectly?
Remember: There’s no deadline for success. There’s no scoreboard. Just keep showing up, adjusting as you go, and believing that every challenge is moving you forward—even when it doesn’t feel like it yet. That’s how you truly grow.
